From ‘The Business of Being You’

Marelle Couture

Creative Consultant, Sustainable Fashion, Owner & Head Designer at Hopscotch Couture/Marelle Couture, Wearable Fine Art

Do you truly understand anyone? Does anyone truly understand you? These are questions we might not ask ourselves often enough. The truth is, understanding is far more complex than we give it credit for. There are countless differences between us: the environments we grew up in, our family dynamics, cultural influences, even how our brains work—all shape how we move through the world.

Think about it—our mindsets, statuses, family backgrounds, where we’ve lived, the cultures we belong to, and even our unique cognitive abilities (like IQ) all contribute to how we interpret the world around us. Values, hopes, dreams—all these pieces influence what matters to us. And here’s the kicker: what holds deep significance to you may hold absolutely no value to someone else.

So how do we know when we’re truly being understood? Or that we truly understand someone else?

Sometimes, we’re not even on the same page. For example, you might interpret a simple text with a certain tone that the sender never intended. The time of day, your mental state, or even past experiences can shape how you perceive a message. Did you know that some people don’t even have an inner dialogue—a narrator in their minds? Imagine how that impacts their experience of the world compared to someone who constantly overthinks!

It’s honestly a miracle that we manage to understand each other at all.

Practical Steps to Bridging the Gap

Here are some practical ways you can work toward better understanding others (and being understood):

1. Open Discussions: Create spaces where open conversations are encouraged. This can be as simple as asking, “How do you feel about this?” instead of assuming you know the other person’s perspective.
2. Take and Give Notes: This isn’t just about jotting things down—it’s about active listening. When someone shares something important, take mental or physical notes. Afterward, reflect on what you’ve heard, and maybe share your own summary to ensure you’ve captured their meaning correctly.
3. Be Open to New Ideas: When someone introduces a new concept, resist the urge to immediately reject it. Ask questions. Explore the idea before deciding whether it aligns with your values.
4. Practice Empathy: Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Understanding their background, struggles, and motivations can bring clarity to why they think or act the way they do.
5. Ask Clarifying Questions: Instead of making assumptions, ask, “Is this what you meant?” or “Can you explain that further?” It can prevent a lot of miscommunication.

In a world filled with so many differences, it’s more important than ever to practice understanding. We may never fully know what’s going on in someone else’s mind, but through these small steps, we can close the gap a little bit more each day.

You can read many other Business of Being You newsletters here:

https://www.linkedin.com/newsletters/the-business-of-being-you-7110669797285134336