Advice by Korey Francis Walmsley

Marelle Couture

Creative Consultant, Sustainable Fashion, Owner & Head Designer at Hopscotch Couture/Marelle Couture, Wearable Fine Art

May 5, 2026

Today I bring to you a very personal story with a life changing message. I hope it touches you in a positive way and I thank you for reading this today.

Back when my son, Korey Francis Walmsley was 21, he said something to me that I will never forget for its profoundness and beauty. He was always what I would call emotionally intelligent.

He had also been emotionally troubled for years, in and out of psychiatric units, struggling simply to keep going. It was often hard to help him or even be around him because of his anger. Yet the last three months of his life were beautiful.

We spent nearly every day together. We baked Christmas cookies, cooked dinners, watched movies, and even some MMA. He was still deeply troubled, but we were finally able to talk for hours about his worries and anxieties. He had decided he was going to start school that January, and I felt hopeful.

One day, while we were spending time together, I had to go to the ER in Morristown, New Jersey. He asked to come along. We were leaving early that morning, and before we left, we were sitting together having coffee when he said something striking.

He told me the goal in life is not to become the Grim Reaper.

He explained that you have to reach a point where you let go of what people have done to you, because if you carry vengeance into death, you might become a grim reaper — still searching for revenge in spirit. We had often spoken about spiritual warfare before, so this wasn’t unusual for us to have these deep discussions.

I thought it was a beautiful idea and pondered it on the ride. I was so proud of my son for how far he has come and for all he endured.

When we arrived at the hospital, I was placed in a room, and almost immediately Korey became agitated. He paced the halls of the ER repeatedly. Then he came back into my room and asked if I had seen the sign just outside my door.

When I looked, my heart stopped.

Everything felt still.

The sign read: “Don’t Be the Grim Reaper,” with a photo of the Reaper

I asked a staff member why it was there. They explained it hung above the shredder machine as a reminder to check documents before shredding them — to make sure nothing important was accidentally destroyed.

But for us, it meant something more.

We were both deeply affected by that moment. We were quiet for most of the day, even during the ride home.

Only a few weeks later, my son took his life.

He left me a note, and based on that letter, I can tell you this with absolute certainty: he is not the Grim Reaper — not then, not now, not ever.

I am still in awe of him.

It took me many years to even begin to understand the deeper meaning of that message.

I have always believed we are energy beings. Good energy, bad energy — all of it extends outward, reaching the people we love and even the people we hate. When we hold onto vengeance, we keep the cycle of negative energy alive, sending it outward only for it to return to us again and again. Our own anger coming back and hurting us.

Whether we realize it or not, people feel what lives in our hearts. Anger, love, resentment, compassion — it all travels.

How many times have you talked about someone, only for the phone to ring and it’s them? Coincidence? Or energy?

Have you ever struggled to get over someone for weeks, months, or even years, and the moment you finally move forward and feel happy again — suddenly they reappear? They feel the shift. They feel the loss of that energetic connection.

Your vibe is energy.

So let’s talk about bad energy — the kind my son was speaking about: revenge, violence, hateful thoughts, the desire to get even.

When bad energy is met with empathy instead of hate, the cycle often stops right there.

If you believe, as I’ve written before, in spiritual warfare, then you understand the constant tension between good and evil and how quietly destructive negativity can be in everyday life.

What if, instead of seeing those who hurt you as powerful, you saw them as sad? Weak, perhaps. Not above you, but trapped — influenced by anger, fear, or darkness they cannot escape.

Imagine living with so much hate that another person’s mere existence triggers you. No goals. No dreams. Just resentment.

That is its own prison.

People hurt others for many reasons — trauma, pain, learned behavior, or choices shaped by their own suffering. But when you meet that darkness with compassion instead of retaliation, you interrupt generations of negative energy.

The way we respond to conflict is often inherited — learned from who raised us and who surrounded us. When you change your response, you change your bloodline. Future generations may live free from cycles of hatred and revenge.

Can you imagine never carrying the burden of getting even? Never allowing someone who doesn’t care about you to freeze your heart?

Forgiveness is part of it. But so is awareness — recognizing that not every battle is truly human. Sometimes we forget that not everyone acts with humanity or compassion. Not everyone is human.

So if you want to stop feeling drained by negative energy every day, you must stop feeding it.

But how do we do that?

How do we let go of anger toward someone who hurt us deeply?

Without justice? Without repayment?

Your first instinct might be: Are you insane? They need to pay.

Yes — without getting even.

Because no one is keeping score but you.

The pain may still be fresh. The damage may feel unbearable. I cannot tell you exactly how to release it. What I can tell you is where I am now on my own journey.

I am beginning to see forgiveness as an act of spiritual strength — a refusal to let darkness continue working through me. I believe negative forces sometimes reach us through the very people we love and trust.

And so forgiveness becomes faith in the journey itself.

Treat resentment like a bad habit — because in many ways, it is.

Breaking the Habit of Negative Energy

If letting go feels impossible, start small:

• Notice the trigger. Become aware of when anger or revenge thoughts appear. Awareness breaks autopilot.
• Pause before reacting. Take one breath before responding — even silently.
• Replace the thought. Instead of “they hurt me,” try “I release what no longer serves me.”
• Limit mental replay. Replaying pain strengthens it. Redirect your attention intentionally.
• Choose compassion without contact. Forgiveness does not mean allowing harm or reopening doors.
• Practice daily release. Imagine setting the burden down each night before sleep.
• Build new energy habits. Gratitude, creativity, movement, prayer, or meditation all shift emotional patterns.

Like any habit, negativity weakens when it is no longer practiced.

My son’s words continue to guide me.

Don’t carry vengeance so long that it becomes your identity.

Don’t destroy what still has value.

And above all —

Don’t be the Grim Reaper!

Sincerely,

Marelle Couture/Mary Ellen Walmsley